so yesterday after all the stress that’s been going on i finally cracked. i just wanted to disappear. i felt like my good old negative self again. until jamie came along & i don’t know how he does it but he is the one person that can change everything & snap me out of it.

first of all the dog completely destroyed my thongs & being pregnant my feet are fat so they’re the only shoes i want to wear then the dog makes me chase her barefoot around the streets for half an hour or more & finally the car shits itself in the middle of the road & i have no phone connected. i felt so hopeless & weak. the fact no one even stops when they see a 32 week pregnant woman who’s balling there eyes out with a young child & puppy in the car just made things ten times worse. all i can say is thank god teenagers have mobile phones because a young boy is the one who saved the day & lent me his phone. i lost a lot of faith in people yesterday.

i came home curled up in a ball in bed & just cried even more. jamie came in the room later saying he had dinner for me & i completely ignored him. i just wanted to be alone. i walked out of the room & went & spoke with him because i felt terrible & he said “didn’t you see what was on the bed?” he came out of our room with ugg boots & a box of chocolates & i almost lost it all over again. ugg boots so i didnt have to keep being barefoot & my favourite chocolate to make me feel better. i don’t understand how a person can be so sweet & so amazing. in that moment my brain snapped back into positive mode. because i remembered i have jamie & our child. they are the reason i am still sane & smile every day. nothing will destroy me when i have them by my side. they give me all the strength to pull through. i love my boys!